It used to be said that a picture was worth 1,000 words. However, this generation of children is growing up in an AI world where pictures, videos, even voice recordings, cannot be trusted. With this level of uncertainty, what children need now more than ever is to know they can trust their parents and other adults in their lives. How do you create this with your children?
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Have their back
One place they really need you to have their back is school. When they are having issues with a teacher, a bully, curriculum, or something else, don’t automatically assume the teacher, school or other student is right. You are the advocate for your child. An advocate fights for and believes in the person they are advocating for. Ask your child and the other person questions. Seek to understand what truly happened. If you need to correct your child, do it with love. If you need to stand up for your child, do it with love. This is not about embarrassing or disrespecting anyone. It’s about truth and creating a relationship with your child where they know, without a doubt, that you will go to bat for them.
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Keep your word
Little things matter. If you say you’ll listen “in a minute”, you need to do that. If you know it will be 10 minutes, say 10 minutes. You may think your child is too young to know the difference, but one day they will be old enough to realize you don’t show up when you say you will. They may or may not say something about it, but it is undermining their trust and respect for you. It’s similar when you give a consequence out of anger (which I highly recommend NOT doing). This is when you will likely use words like “never, always, forever” etc. They will come to realize you say things in anger and don’t follow through, so if they can weather the immediate storm, they are good to go. Again, the end result is your child doesn’t trust what you say, which ultimately undermines your relationship.
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Communication
Whatever age your child is, you want to start asking them how they are, what was great about their day, what might have been hard, etc. Take an interest (an authentic interest) in who they are, how they’re doing and what they need, want and/or think about life. Ask how you can support them. Check in every day. Sometimes the conversation will be longer and other times shorter. Just be consistent, available and most of all, LISTEN. This is how you get ahead of potential issues and steer them towards or away from situations. It’s also how you create a solid lifetime bond.
You may not be able to control AI and its impact on trust in this world, but you can control whether or not your child trusts YOU.
~ Show up Consistently ~
~ Keep your Word ~
~ Foster Healthy Communication ~
You’ve got this!
Traci L. Williams is the Founder of A Loving Way to Parent. She is known for her intuitive and practical parenting style. For support, feel free to reach out to her directly at 951-240-1407 or traci@alovingway.com. www.alovingway.com