I would imagine that every father wants his daughter to marry a man who is going to take care of her, keep her safe and treat her well. When girls begin to spread their wings and notice boys, they eventually start dating and at some point experience a broken heart. I can only imagine how that impacts a dad. He can’t do anything to fix it and may wonder what to do after the fact, especially about her sadness and tears.
As a woman who is a daughter and a mother, and has experienced a broken heart along the way, I would be honored to share some insights with you on this subject. This is a message for dads.
In this day and age, everyone is busy. Parents are working and caring for the house, kids, etc. Kids are in school, have homework and usually have sports or other outside activities. In the midst of all of this, have you noticed that the days breeze by? They quickly become weeks, months and then years. Suddenly you notice that your daughter is different. She’s older and more mature. She is finding her own sense of self and belonging and exploring the world outside … including boys. Then the inevitable happens … she has a broken heart.
I recently read somewhere that when a relationship ends, a woman’s heart has a void. That void is the space that is left where “he” touched her heart. If they had a deep connection, the space will be larger than if they had a shallow connection. I am told this space remains until it is filled by a connection with another man. What is interesting is that a woman will not be satisfied by a man who fills only part of that void. She will demand a man with depth, love and connection that fills that space in its entirety, and possibly even more. Anything less just won’t do.
So it dawned on me that dads have a huge advantage here. If you capture your daughter’s heart and show her depth and connection, you create a minimum standard. You have now created a space in her heart that can only be filled by a man that is at least as good as you. She will never accept less. You get to set the bar! How cool is that!
Now, on the other hand, if a dad does not imprint his daughter’s heart with love, connection and depth, her heart is open to any level of connection with a man. Do you see how vulnerable that leaves her and why she relies on you to show her the way?
So, here are three things you can do to make a difference for your daughter:
- Be the first man to capture her heart. Connect with her. Love her. Hold her in your lap. Laugh with her. Be her Hero.
- Do not let go of that level of heart connection and depth until the day you give her hand in marriage.
- Role model for your sons how to do this for their daughters and how to treat their wives (someone else’s daughter).
We need to start raising our children with the end in mind, not just crossing our fingers and hoping for the best. We are their guardians, teachers, guides and protectors. What you create with your children in this process will be immeasurable and will last for generations.
Thank you, dads, that you are here to set the bar for the next generation of parents and leaders!
Traci Williams is the Founder of A Loving Way to Parent. She is known for her intuitive and practical parenting and coaching style. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or email today! (traci@alovingway.com or 951-240-1407). You can also schedule your own appointment here.