Words are powerful. They can make or break a person’s day and even a person’s spirit, especially children. Are your words lifting your child up, or tearing them down? Do you feel good at the end of the day about your interactions with your child, or guilty because you yelled, blamed or used hurtful words? Here are a couple of things to keep in mind:
Do you find yourself exploding?
If you find yourself exploding like a volcano for something your child has done, chances are you were upset before this particular incident happened. If you hold things in (whether it’s about your children or something else), there will be a point in time when you can’t hold it in anymore. At that point, you will likely overreact and create damage that you will need to fix later. Instead, notice when you are upset and work through it right away. Get help, if needed. Do not push your anger or frustration down; it needs to be addressed. If you notice your kids exploding, this is likely what they are going through as well. Don’t be mad at them; they need help so they can learn this skill too.
What if you focused on the positive?
We all have a choice in every moment to focus on what is going right or to focus on what is going wrong. Think about whether you are talking to your kids more about missing assignments or completed assignments. Are you noticing the made bed or the clothes on the floor? It’s important to take advantage of opportunities to tell your kids when they are doing a great job, when you appreciate their help, when they did something without being asked. Chances are, it happens more than you realize. The more you praise them, the more they will want to do helpful things.
It’s not easy being a parent. Equally, it’s not easy being a kid. The key to a healthy parent-child relationship is communication. You want to build your kids up. If something is going in the wrong direction, talk about it. Be curious about what they are feeling and what they are going through. Do not make assumptions. Do not blame. Do not yell. You are their partner in growing up. Be an encourager and a guide. Enjoy every moment of this short and important season when your kids are still home.
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Traci Williams is the CEO of A Loving Way to Parent. She is known for her practical and intuitive parenting style. She can be reached directly at 951-240-1407 or traci@alovingway.com.