There is so much kids can get into these days with social media, internet access, busy parents and freedom that prior generations did not have. In this climate, how can you raise trustworthy kids? It’s really pretty simple:
Keep Your Word
When you say you will be home at a certain time, make sure you’re home. If you promise a park day or a play date, be sure you deliver on that promise. Often parents will think their kids “don’t know what day it is” and they slide by. Whether or not you can “get away with it” is not the point. They WILL eventually realize you haven’t kept your word. By then, it will be a habit on your part and they won’t think there is any value in keeping their word. When they get in trouble for the “white lie” or not following through on a promise, they will resent you because you’ve been doing that to them for years. It does not go well.
If Plans Need to Change
If plans need to change due to traffic, illness or other circumstances out of your control, don’t blow off or change the plans without letting them know. You’ve got to complete the loop and reschedule. Otherwise, they have no idea when they can count on what you say. If you are going to be late, let them know as soon as you know and give them a new time. That will create accountability and trustworthiness.
Kids trust their parents right from the start. After all, they would not survive without your feeding, holding, changing and emotional connection. As they get older, if you are not trustworthy, they will be disappointed, but will often not say anything about it. That could be because they are hurt, or because they are called disrespectful when they do speak up. In either case, it closes the door of communication. Instead, you want that door wide open. You want to communicate openly with them if/when plans change, so they don’t wonder when they can or can’t trust your word.
It’s simple, but not always easy, especially if you are already in the habit of just letting things go. Today is a great day to check yourself:
- Are you good at keeping your word with your kids?
- Do you circle back with changes, or just let plans fall to the wayside and hope they don’t notice?
Your answer to these questions will directly influence how trustworthy your kids are now and in the future.
If you’d like support bridging gaps that have already been created, or you’d like to avoid gaps altogether, feel free to reach out for a free 15-minute phone consultation or take a look at our CORE Parenting Class Series which covers Connection, Trust, Respect and Boundaries. Your parent-child relationship is for a lifetime. It’s worth taking good care of!
Traci Williams is the CEO of A Loving Way to Parent. She is known for her practical and intuitive parenting style. She can be reached directly at 951-240-1407 or traci@alovingway.com.