I’m not a fan for taking away phones for every issue that arises. However, there are times when phone removal is a perfectly natural consequence. In those cases, your response will depend on (1) your child’s intent, (2) the frequency, and (3) their attitude. Let’s take a look at one issue families often deal with … inappropriate cell phone use (photos, texts, sites, social media, etc.).
First, make sure you have set up CLEAR guidelines that are FULLY understood by all parties in ADVANCE. Second, if you find your child has done something inappropriate with the phone, ASK questions. Is it true? What are they doing? Why are they doing it? Do they think it’s appropriate or not? Is there something they think you don’t understand? How do they think this can be resolved? Your ultimate goal is to open lines of communication, while resolving the issue.
If you determine a consequence is in order, remember not to give the consequence out of anger. That often leads to consequences you will not follow through with, which undermines their trust and respect in you keeping your word. You may choose to disable the app on their phone or remove the phone altogether for a period of time, depending on how many times this issue has arisen. Your child’s attitude will also matter, as well as figuring out why this behavior is happening and how to come alongside your child to address it. Remember, communication is key. You want to build your relationship; not just win an argument.
Consider joining our CORE Parenting Class Series to obtain helpful insights into building Connection, Trust and Respect, as well as setting and maintaining Boundaries. These classes are excellent for improving parent-child communication and relationship building. We’d love to have you there!
Traci Williams is the CEO of A Loving Way to Parent. She is known for her practical and intuitive parenting style. She can be reached directly at 951-240-1407 or traci@alovingway.com. Sign up for free weekly articles and/or set up a free 15-minute phone consultation today!